livelife

I think alot about where I would be today if I would of had the will power and determination to follow through with my weight loss goals months ago or even years ago.  What really gets me down is remembering that 4 years ago I actually made it to 135 lbs, and then I let myself gain it ALL back.  I AM MOVING FORWARD…….I am trying to teach myself not to dwell on the past and to focus on the present.  So with that in mind I am going to a weight watchers meeting tonight.  That is the same program that helped me loose the weight the first time.  If I spend my fast food money on the weekly meetings instead I will be able to fit it in my monthly budget.  My fiance and I talked about it last night and of course his response was “whatever you want to do babe”, now if I told him that I wanted to drive his race car I can guarantee that there would have been more of a conversation than that.  But hey, at least I got a response to something that he knows is important to me and that is wonderful within its self.  

First thing in Operation Moving Forward is to plan my meals at least 2 days in advance.  With how busy I get some evenings I should come to enjoy this in more than just the weight loss aspect.

Second thing is to come up with several different cardio ideas that I can do with my 5 year old.  My biggest thing with exercise is actually doing it.  I can plan it and I can think about doing it (and even have a VERY strong desire to do it), but getting off my butt is a totally different concept.  In fact if our bodies would react automatically to what our brains wanted us to do when it comes to exercising, I would be one hot momma :)  So if anyone comes across this and wants to throw some fun cardio ideas my way that I can share with my daughter feel free.   

Another really important goal that I need to follow through with is having a true commitment on the duration of my work outs.  I am not talking minutes or hours I am talking months to years.  I can get really involved in a workout and even REALLY like doing it.  But then the day comes that I start making excuses not to do it anymore.  I am talking about having a great workout routine for a month or even two.  Then one day my subconscious pulls something out of its butt and my conscious runs with it.  This has got to stop!!!!!!!!  Once again any suggestions will help!!

I have alot more to say about the feelings (good and bad)  I have with every topic that relates to loosing weight and becoming healthy.  But I don’t like to dwell on things for a long period of time.  It takes away from other things in life.  In fact that is one reason that I have made the decision to Move Forward.  I realized exactly how much time I was wasting being sad, mad, frustrated and even depressed about my weight.  To think what I have missed out on because I am not happy with myself is sickening to me.  I have no one to blame but my self and with that in mind I will also take the credit for this great thing I am about to accomplish.  The happiest feeling that I am feeling right now is knowing that when I learn to love myself and do this for myself my daughter will pick up on that and she will grow up loving herself!!  I want this to come natural for her.  There will be times that she will have to work for it here and there (after all she is only human), but I don’t want self esteem to be a chore for her.  (Wow, just had a moment…..tear.)

 I hope to keep this strong mind set for my entire journey!    I will keep this strong mind set for my entire journey!!